The Day I Didn't Want To

Estimated reading time ⏱: 1-2 minutes

Last updated: May 2026

I was done. Empty. Drained. Completely tapped out. The idea of saying "how are you" one more time, doing one more intake, listening to one more story — it felt like too much. And then I went anyway. And honestly? It became the best day of my week.

The first patient told me how much better she felt. The second one laughed for the first time in weeks. The third one said: "I don't know what you do, but it works."

By the end of the day I felt recharged. Not exhausted — recharged.

Sometimes you recharge by doing the work. Not by resting. Not by stopping. But by showing up — even when you really, really don't feel like it.

Because the work feeds you back.
Not always. Not every day. But more often than you think.

But there's a difference between "I don't feel like it" and "I'm burned out."

And I think we mix them up — constantly.

"I don't feel like it" is heavy legs before a workout. You go, you warm up, you feel fine ten minutes in.

"I'm burned out" is a body that has been saying stop for months and you kept pushing. That's not tiredness. That's a signal you've been ignoring for too long.

Here's the question I ask myself now:

"If this shift went perfectly — would I feel better afterwards?"

If yes → go. Show up. Let the work do its thing.
If no, not even close — then something needs to change. Not necessarily today. Not by closing your practice tomorrow. But ignoring it is not a plan either.

Nobody says this out loud: as a self-employed acupuncturist, you can't just not show up.

There's no sick pay. There's no colleague to cover. Every cancelled appointment is a cancelled invoice.

That's real. That's the pressure most of us carry silently.

But "I can't stop completely" is not the same as "nothing can change."

Sometimes it's one afternoon off. Sometimes it's finally saying no to that patient who drains you every single time. Sometimes it's just admitting to yourself: I'm not okay right now — and letting that be true, instead of pushing it away until it gets louder.

Burnout doesn't care about your schedule. It will find a moment to stop you — and it will pick the worst one.

Small steps before that happens are worth more than a full collapse later.

The day I didn't want to go turned into my best day.

But that only happened because I had protected myself on other days.

You can't push through every time. That's not dedication. That's a highway to burning out completely.

Occasionally, though? Occasionally you push. Occasionally you show up and discover that the work itself is what you needed.

That's the part nobody talks about.
And I think it's worth talking about.

How do you know where you are right now — "don't feel like it" or actually depleted?

I'd love to know. Drop me a message — in the comments below!

About the Authors: Laurence & Olivier

Laurence and Olivier are specialized Balance Method practitioners based in Terneuzen, Netherlands. Both were trained directly by Dr. Delphine Armand — one of Dr. Tan's appointed disciples and co-founder of Si Yuan. For 8 years, they were part of Si Yuan's core team as instructor and video director — teaching, filming, and documenting every aspect of the Balance Method's global training program. Today they treat up to 75 patients weekly using exclusively the Balance Method at Acusana Acupunctuur.

• →Laurence was an instructor at Si Yuan, teaching the Balance Method alongside Dr. Delphine Armand across international trainings. She developed the illustrated clinical notes used during these trainings — notes that became the Balance Method Notebook, now the go-to clinical reference for practitioners worldwide.
• →Olivier filmed and edited every Si Yuan training for 8 years — from live clinical demonstrations to the complete Video on Demand library. He founded this independent knowledge hub to make Balance Method education freely accessible to practitioners everywhere.

Through this platform, they continue to build on Dr. Tan's core philosophy: "Share everything, keep nothing, help everyone."